MEASURE HIS FEET

Jessie and I went on a trip today. We walked west to the river -- don't ask me what river it is, the big one. We'd heard kids drown in it. We'd heard ditches are deadly. Only Jessie and Me never associated ditches with the big river. How do we know? That river is hard to find if you don't take a bus that goes across the river. The river is hidden behind a ton of trees. Jessie and Me aren't exactly ignorant because we've gone to free public schools in Constitutional United States for as long as we can remember and we studied Rio Grande and we know you don't say: Rio Grande River. We were down there looking for adventure. We went in there into the woods off the bike path near Tingley. Pretty soon we're on a trail about like the Ho Chi Minh. We got an eerie feeling. Jessie told me people lived there. I said what people? Jessie said no kids were allowed to live there. I said why not? Because only kids in South America can live outdoors in cities. He's a little liar, come here Jessie, just go ahead and tell it again, this time to Linda.

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